let’s go let’s go (they did not move)

once again the sun shone on the alternative, for the sake of it, that was very much like the corner before. sponge had a scarf wrapped around his neck, copycat, for no other reason than today being today and the day that was in it; he stood there, nervously rocking back and forth and starred at the window of the shop.
breadroll sang: around the corner we go and around and around till we’re round and you’re round and we all drop like flies at the corner and around and around we go … an old carvery rhyme or nursery song, written in the country’s barbaric tongue.
we’re here now, said block of wood, the corner shop.
is this the corner shop or a corner shop, said sponge.
i wouldn’t know, said block of wood. it is a corner shop.
what did he say, said sponge, which corner shop? did he give further advice? they say they are selling chairs.
no, said block of wood. i’d love a monster munch. or these ripply things.
so it may not be this shop at all at all?
no.
we should look at other corners. shop around.
we could.
let’s go so.
no.
fine.
that’s what i think. —— sound. a very poetic word. this language, i add three dots …

sponge, breadroll and block of wood actually do a move or two

Not far to be honest. around the corner that’s it it. pretty much if you consider. around the corner. so well put in frank english. around the corner. i could say this a thousand times if i had to. but not now. a thousand times. around the corner. fnn. i must oppose to the use of the word err wood and —— actually. now actually, and and actually in a title in the public. sorry for having been having to say taht err that.
fading fnn’s and argue about it.

as he said and now

how do we go from there, said sponge and breadroll was happy to reply: around the corner.
are you sure, said sponge, that it is that easy.
as easy as that, said breadroll, i was able to break our speech pattern.
true, said sponge, let’s go.
they moved.

the consultant said

breadroll and block of wood are back in the place sponge never has left.
is there anything we can do?
no. nothing.
let’s do it then.
wha?
there’s a t in what.
it’s silent. most of the time.
that’s precisely what the consultant confirmed and recommended himself.

one of the classic jokes for us all to relax

breadroll on entering the room, lightly populated by sponge and more recently, block of wood:–
now, what am i doing here?
i don’t know, said block of wood, get out.

in front of something

did you like that?
him? like him?
no. that.
oh that. yes.
really?
yes. very nice.
that’s great.
yes, i liked it.
sponge did not like talking to his image mirrrored in a spoon as he caught himself doing —- this, and the fact that the script advised the use of the word leked instead of liked to add something.

fi fo fat man

he looks sad, said breadroll. he emphasised sad.
he sure does, said block of wood.
it’s the hamburgers, said sponge, they love to be eaten, marginally tasty but very fattening.
so that’s what’s wrong with him, said breadroll.
no, said sponge, it’s just that nobody likes him.

just another definition will not change it

pronounced change of form and change of structure taking place within a comparatively short period of time otherwise known as a whiff, add of time as needed, as the changes undergone by an everyman in passing from the larval to the adult stage where he or she makes him- or indeed herself seen without warning. thus spoke sponge and he added that the roll should back indeed shortly.

metamorphosis would be a sign of the times

the process of changing from one form to another, from the larval stage to the pupal stage to the reproductive adult stage, said sponge, that’s what we are facing daily in our streets, on our trains and most obviously here in our own little midst.
i just feel a pain there, sad block of wood, which was a gross thing to say.
i know it’s needless to say but i say it anyway, said sponge, it’s a … that’s that.
we didn’t say much about the man in the café who didn’t want to pay immediately and stuff. never mind. nothing has happened so far. it is a slow café. we complained as well to no avail.

metamorphosis

it would be bad if it was more than that, said bread, wouldn’t it? a sucker for assurance but not a salesman is sight when you need them.
block of wood, drumming his belly: we’ve got rolls. that was a bit off topic.
metamorphosis is the name of a stage illusion invented by mohn nemmel mascerpon, but most often associated with famous magician and escape artist hairy breadnut, and performed to some renown (for speed) by the pee dragons, among many others of course, said sponge. it’ll be over soon.

to be a bug one has to be a beetle first

now look at this, said bread, bloody hell. i woke up and the roll was gone, would you believe? should i call the priest or the therapist or the gp or the police, so many options for help i don’t know where people would get an idea of despair from. just a metamorphosis that’s all.

like a bull in a chinese shop

i feel dry, said breadroll with a sweet’n’sour smile.(wipe that grin, thought blokk off the record).
yes, all dry and dreary (lacking in liveliness or charm or surprise) but well sorted otherwise.
like puked milk, said blockk and jabbed a knife laden with lard into breadroll, a roar from tape to besound the lot.
we now cover up the orgy of brutality that we were glad to mention.

sponge bread and the daily twist

yesterday, the man said, yesterday over 34509 toilets were flushed in moscow alone. i take quite an interest in the amount of toilets being flushed, that’s why i notice these things.
sponge looked at breadroll who had his broader side buttered; that was his way to unwind which firstly was untimely and secondly made a useful discussion on the subject, ahh well whatever, said sponge.

day to night we go

what a day they will say when it will end tonight, said sponge, but there is some time until then.

one stick is better than no stick at all

we won’t get far with only one stick.
no?
never.
bummer. i was hoping to.
what?
nothing. i suppose one can’t be witty all the time.
no. one cannot.

cucumber sticks

he held a small greenish stick in the air. this is, said sponge, a cucumber stick. not a carrot stick of course, not as fancy, but nonetheless a stick and better than nothing. it can be dipped in mayonnaisse or any other gooey substance that sticks to objects.

terror of time at one’s hands

we broke his heart, said sponge and realised a lack of short term memory. who am i talking about, he said, is it the mysterious man in the café on the other end of town? is it?breadroll made a face. hope we didn’t cause any mess.
no no. no mess. all clean.
because if we had caused a mess, we would need to clean and could not sit and talk sociably.
no, we could not.
they had caused a considerable mess which, howerver, had been swept under the carpet and hence could be neglected.
we should come up with something for the day, said sponge.

free will

that shmock, sad block of wood. he had read this word in a novel and drew great pleasure from using it: shmock. he said it when sponge entered the room together with an unknown man. hi, said the man and extended his hand to have it shaken. tea, said block of wood and ignored the hand.
hi, said the man. his name is will, said sponge to block of wood, i met his outside. he needs to relax a little bit more but i think he’s alright.
will he stay, said block of wood, and the man replied, will, that’s me. i’m here to tell you about the free children of cod further and his son chippers spiced.
free, said block of wood, are you sure?
will was absolutely sure, he said there was no doubt about it, one would have to trust him on that and one would not be disappointed if one had the guts or grace to follow him.
nobody would. a disappointing day. — what a day indeed.

and now what now they said

and now? what now, they said. quietness. all seemed confused, no moves. i thought we were guided, said breadroll, so why are we bored?

is there god at least

we now know that we are controlled, said sponge.
and therefore, said breadroll.
we are able to approach things, said block of wood, in a more controlled manner as we would have before the beans were spilled and and the news broken. a shame you call that?
why do you speak funny, said breadroll.
i thought, said sponge, respect for religious groupings would command this. particualrily when restricted phone use is part of it. i just want to make a point.
or draw a line, said breadroll.

meet the man

i think i take out my phone, said sponge.
i tend to object, said a man, most assertively, i assumed doing something with phones was not the same as taking out one’s phone and hence have to decline. the latter usually invites texts being sent for no reason to the unsuspecting victim briefing it of answers to questions that never had been asked.
i think i open up a spreadsheet and have it all in front of me on the computer, said sponge and did so. he stared at a conglomerate of numbers he could not figure out and acted utterly unupset about not having been told about the spreadsheet’s existence. fullstop.

whatever you do or think or say

whatever you say or do or think of doing or saying, do it or say it or think of doing or saying it with great care and in an educated manner as a phone is no toy.
did we agree on doing something with phones, said breadroll.
on phones, said sponge. we maybe using them so we do something with them on them.
was that agreed, said block of wood.
exactly: subject to further discussions.

something about phones

see, told you, said sponge, we should do something about phones.
you wanted to say fones, said breadroll, because it’s groovier. i think so, too, by the way.
i tried, said sponge, but the spell check picked up on it. but i don’t think it’s groovier. gruuvier maybe, but not the other thing.
aggressive?
no. the other thing.
i give up ,said breadroll and had tea. as usual.
as usual, said sponge who hated his comments being anticipated. the writer could fake it he thought, but no avail. we could have a power meeting to discuss it, he said. they all had left.

when and how to get up

my phone will take care of that, said sponge, my phone will ring on time. with a phone like this i’m sorted, i really am.
and sorted he was, it was perfectly right for him to say so; having signed up with the company in order to receive this phone along with regular updates and occasional upgrades and to be on the list, in the know and out of trouble was the best thing he had done in a long while.
the best thing i did in a long while, said sponge, the others are thinking of signing up, too.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.