some lives are worse than others but the stories are all the same

with a head in his hat and feet in his shoes he left the house, whistling a tune; he stopped whistling when he was hit by a breeze. that’s in short what happened in the first five minutes. then man joined the first queue he saw. people were queuing for all sorts of things, depending who you cared to ask. in the evening everyone remaining in the queue was arrested for loitering, the man decided to leave the house a bit earlier next time. due to an administrative error, however, the man was flown to an undisclosed location where he had to endure interrogation, abuse, torture, one civil war, two violent uprisings, a series of civil unrest and two general election, the second preceeded by a bloodbath during which the winning party promised to do away with all those responsible for the bloodbath, the only promise they kept after the election, which caused a third bloodbath and the survivors sent the man home. on return he joined the queue outside his house, he felt confident but was arrested again. the story gets a bit repetitive here.
is that a true story, said breadroll.
based on one, said sponge.

something for something and anything at all

there is something we wanted to do, is there. usually there is, most of the time. what it was? something urgent, something we needed  to do. don’t ask, we didn’t ask. something.
sure we lean out of the window instead. they tried. we take a seat. things we do today.

a queue is all we need for good order

look at that, said sponge, they are all waiting. peacefully in peace. not a bother.
a queue, said breadroll.
i can see that, said sponge.
proper order, said breadroll.

all the sunshine now and never

all the sunshine now, the man said, folded his umbrella and threw it away. just like that. how wet he got then in the rain. we laughed. it was a quiet afternoon then, later. nobody said much, to be honest, after that; there’s no denying it.
i remember well, says sponge, although i’d almost forgotten. a rainy day.

thankfully ability is not all

he was well able, said sponge, but he still failed.
you keep refering to the title straight away.
i’m not. anyway, it’s not about ability at all. the next one is good looking and seems to be reasonably happy, may he’ll sell us a ticket. if it’s within reason.

day to end all days

they are lashing us with sorries and slightlies and shortlies, said sponge. the merry fallout.
god love them but that’ll be it, said breadroll.
i could have a poem, said brekst, so sleak and sharp it shall impress.

i had weight problems since a boy but this is not an issue anymore. i have no one to thank for. i am lonely as a kite.
brrrrr theee thy tree liner arts’do rather jolligood tssss fnnnn. i thank you for attention, i’m sorry i almost forgot the fullstop.

for all it is worth

they did ask me, said breadroll to make the first line and that is exactly what i did — right now i did it. not that i did not do exactly the same thing before but that is a second line now which i believe everyone has been waiting for. we should get something out of it.
what, train folks asked. he was a stout fella, red around the nose, eyes bloodshot, contained movements, a bull about to enter a china shop. what, he says. ticket, he says, points towards the clock. shortly, he finally snorts. lifts his shoulders. eats.

it is a day after all

we didn’t really prepare for a special for today, did we?
no we didn’t.
i though so, didn’t i, said sponge, feeling slightly happy having made the point. we just have cake then if we find some, he knew to add.

sometimes something is better than nothing at all

you know, said breadroll, we’ve got a lot under our belt, and that not just hardened remnants of something. and if it were so what?
how could it harden if we are on the move, said sponge, we’ve got to find something to have more than nothing. gum plastered pavements. we know the scene. sponge and breadroll had a fight, a hug and a rest of a day.

for all the breadrolls of offally

the most amazing thing when the bomb blasted were the looks of utter astonishment in these faces of those lifes over right after they started.
but that was just one of many bombs that blasted on top of offally.
we had excellent lunch then in a hotel near the border where they had a bakery attached and a micro brewery.

breadroll, sponge and block of wood are wishing people all the best

that’ll be it now, he said, let’s have a rest. a rest but not a rust.
let alone a roast.
ha ha, very witty indeed.
now, we are about to end a week although we just started a day, a line as from a ballad, some nu romance stuff, said sponge , we just say goodbye and godspeed.
which has no limits.
ha ha very witty indeed.
the day then passed without special notice.

very funny for that matter but i don’t think we should laugh at all

and on we went walking. on the trail less travelled. around corners where others never would think to take a snoop around. they walked, now view view from top. the three walking. heading towards another corner.
if anyone wants o take a leak, said sponge, it would be a chance now.
i took a leek from a garden back there but it was rather raw, said block of wood.
if you think british is about funny puns, said sponge, it is not. it is about puns, that’s it — (he gave the final ‘t’ a really sharp finish to make a point).

one of the classic jokes for us all to relax

breadroll on entering the room, lightly populated by sponge and more recently, block of wood:–
now, what am i doing here?
i don’t know, said block of wood, get out.

one stick is better than no stick at all

we won’t get far with only one stick.
bummer. i was hoping to.
nothing. i suppose one can’t be witty all the time.
no. one cannot.

quota quotae we will need tits after all

to say tits surely is not as bad as showing them, said breadroll. i have none myself but if i had i would not have time for people objecting me from showing them. that’s me. i love to butter spread on me, too. that’s me, should do.
we could gp on about spreads without being overly offensive. we’ve got to show something, said sponge, and the plan to turn the office into a porn studio is an appealing one.
a plan, said block of wood. tea anyone.
we cannot turn anything into some other thing without approval, said breadroll.
and plan, said sponge, right. that episode did not work out as expected. i thought there would be more approar about the porn quote.

long lines do not stand for anything at all

————— it is up to me i suppose, said sponge, so say it: the episode started rather without significant events, not even the odd bleak sun was to rise over the roofs. ———
this line for example marks a break, herr brekst said and points vaguely at sponge, between sponge’s part and mine.

in the light of all this another way of looking at it

usual setting, usual surroundings, usual sounds, usual steps to take to get were one should.
q: so, what do you make of it all, what do you think?
a: i’m glad you asked.
sponge leans back, has a drop of water from his glass.
any professional would tell you that, he says.
q: and you spell professional with only one eff?
a: and two ess, definitely. — that in my view is the best way to approach the issue, which admittedly is a hot topic, without losing one’s focus and vision but at th same time not lettign anything come in your way if you know what i’m saying.
a large commercial enters the room. don’t worry about me, says the commercial, i’m on a break.

all in a sudden a budget cut

we have to lose someone, said breadroll, needs must you see.
lose, said sponge and drew a question mark in the air to mark his remark’s inquisitive nature. as in lose the hat?
as in, said breadroll or the grin. then again, they tend to say, wipe the grin off a bodypart, englishmen do.
i could stab you and butter you, maybe there is jam in the fridge, said block of wood, ram the knife and be blokk once again, just like the ool days.
you mean traditional, said sponge, but that’s cancelled; cultural references have to be neutral and ambigious.
and we’re all on a diet, said breadroll, remember?

a song to mention them all three four

spo. nge. ch-ch-ch-ch.
bre. adroll. ads no ads. spam bhamwham. roll roll roll.
blo, blo, blo blo. ck o. f. woo. d of wwo. ed. bow.
who c. ould. s. ould:
resist. t. t. t. t. br. ekst. kst. st. t.

[drinking game; halt whenever you come to a fullstop and have a sip. refill glass at colon.]

pff (for all i can say)

lights on, gradually. chair, table, yucca tree.
as i said, said sponge. stopped. he hovered around a bit and then went off.
we are just as clueless as you are, perhaps, about what might have happened there.
pff = sound of sudden exhalation with lips closed as much as possible.

all new

o look, said breadroll, there is a cup.
and there, said block of wood, is tea.
isn’t that lovely, said sponge, we three, here, around the corner, at last.
brllo, said breadroll.
what about the i, said block of wood.
what about it, said breadroll.
it’s missing, said block of wood.
new policy, said sponge, we are required to be rather economic with terms that aim to express excitement.
i see, said block of wood, brll.
that was a tad bit too economic and a training session for block of wood was arranged.

one for all

we should not be so caught up with this sheepery, said sponge.
not at all, said block of wood. they watched breadroll talking to the sheep and seemingly having a great conversation. eventually breadroll offered the sheep a cigarette.

tribe, you and all

a tribunal, said sponge.
indeed, said breadroll.
so, you’re back, said block of wood, didn’t expect you around for a while. not for a while anyway.
i find you guys amusing, said silence, what are you up yo?
not much, said breadroll, i asked for a tribunal.
those tribes are so 20th century, said silence, mimicing is it these days, as in me and youscum.
oh, said breadroll, tusculum.
also a very nice word, said silence.
they stared at a little piece of gravel right beside the sheep.

not at all at all

difference is not all, said sponge, variety is equally important.
all agreed. there is a corner, they said, and a sheep. the man is gone for the moment, we should not be concerned about him for now.
did he leave his mobile number, said breadroll.
only landline, said sponge.
that’s not much good, said breadroll.
meanwhile block of wood inspected the sheep and concluded there was a chance for it to open.
anytime soon.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.