another day to file as an incident

shall we start again, said sponge.
with a wet sponge, said, breadroll, that sits on your chair. a wet sponge. quite some incident.
the excitement it’ll cause. the utter joy.
unbearable. we better leave it, said sponge, the excitement could make us hopeful.

word as entrance for everyone

and how did it go today? we have only started. i know, whatever, how did it go, any feedback? none. haven’t heard anything. was there something we were to say at some point. perhaps we missed the keyword. perhaps. or maybe. or that. we should discuss our keywords again. fix our tags. fix our tags, perhaps. metaphysical tags. karma keys. maybe they’ll tell us then.
final sentence: involving sponge and breadroll.

a new day lasts as long as the old one

if you think you’ve been here before, you’re right, said sponge, but it won’t help. the end of the platform is just its beginning. you’ll take it from there; you’ll move on.
the setting of the train station’s shopping mall provides an impressive backdrop for these words. it was an ordinary shopping mall. shops and drunks and security staff. time drawn to thin lines, ringing in the breath of the passer-by. lashings, beatings, joy and sadness. bitterness.
bitterness adds negativity to the setting, said breadroll, though people ought to be positive. about things and stuff.

things rise as well as fall

when brumblebee hit out to cool his mood he felt better than before afterwards. he was arrested and would have got 25 years of hard labour but the judge persihed before sentencing. his successor was not sure how to proceed and brumblebee was forgotten about until he was discovered during some spring clean operation one of the young prosecutors had launched. he was covered in fungus and was of giddy humour. hilarious. they threw him out of prison threatening to charge him as an imposter should he ever go near the building again; they clearly had an issue with him. the point was not that he was an imposter, they wouldn’t have had an issue with that, they’ve seen it all before, the problem was that he might pretend to be one. this they did not like a bit. brumblebee left and along he plodded, one foot, one leg, one foot, one leg again, off he went.
brumblebee had been lucky, alas, that does not go for his friend halleberry, who did not get to the shops in time, drank white spirit instead and kicked the bucket in a somehow disgusting manner. his common law partner is currently sueing the county council for damages and distress relief. she also makes cupcakes next saturday and is thinking of calling them traditional irish. they’ll be a bit small but for a good cause. residents are asked to support whoever calls by. but that’s doesn’t really belong here.
one day brumblebee hit the ground for no reason. the ground felt undisturbed. rugged but calm. silent. and calm. caaaalm. there will always be an england, brumblebee thought, they say ‘calm’ in england. ‘calm’. somebody has mentioned that before, no doubt. marvellous people, these englanders, just great, brimming with greatness, and calm. overall they’re calm, no matter what. they are very proud of that. i’ll be calm so. brumblebee was calm, on the ground, and hungry. thirsty, not so much, bearable, although a drink is never turned. all and all a rounded personality. he thought, i may have to go to bed. and what sense is there in that? the ground is calm and so am i. brumblebee finished his reasoning, got up and went to a cafe. tea and cognac, he said. the waitress brought him rhum. later coffee, which he didn’t want. brumblebee stormed out of the cafe in a huff. where did he go? we would care less. sponge and breadroll sat inside, having noticed nothing at all. we kept it that way. involving those two may cause confusion.

to fuck as a pastime

the tart wasn’t that bad, said breadroll, bit juicy.
not bad no, said sponge, but i could do with a burger to bugger. a cheap sexual allegation.
sex you all, so there. the tart, now remembered. burgers. starve. starving. to starve. no way you put it will it make sound any more feeding. nothing. they had rations, stuff bought by passers-by, bars, triangular sandwich containers, bars, bags of crips. on the other side of the barrier, the vending machine operated by train people. they fuck. they think about it. discuss the option.

small as a virtue and a vice

you are small, aren’t you, the man said for he was big.
that sums it up, said breadroll, what are we going to do about it. i certainly won’t be able to do anything whatsoever, that’s for sure i swear to god, if you know what i mean.
i can see where you are coming from, the man said, and that’s just your luck.

terror is a big a word as anything

but would we?
frozen with terror, should we let them terr’ists prevail? a big a question. a word has been thrown out there. sponge sit. breadroll stands.
we should be safe though, what should happen. the lad over there has a monobrow, does it make him suspicious? the other lads mumbles to himself? a brief prayer before action? thoughts of tearing the lad’s face off. dismissed thought, not good but a start. there should be a line of comfort. remining positive.

about away as in gone

away, said sponge, yes. away. i told the media but they would not do a thing. bit by bit i shall tell you and – block of wood. where is he?
gone, said breadroll, not here.
sounds silly, said sponge, but i can see that.
they both nodded in appreciation.

herr brekst does not call by today anyway as it seems

the occasional man was hovering around the corner. not your normal one this time; this one sticks.
i’m anto, he says. he leans over. he taps sponge’s knee. hey, he says.
sponge stares east-west, breadroll the other ways.
block of wood doesn’t show any reaction. we are fine, i think, he says to himself.

nice as in friendly not fiendish

he always does that, he always does that wrong, said sponge. and if i was to say that again it would be more like ‘he always does that, he always does that fucking wrong, said sponge’.

al as a letter and al as a person

hi, the man said, my name is al. he was not the average man who used to called by every now and then to say things, instead he was something special, something radiant.
i do prefer the letter, said breadroll, it is very much related to all.

meaning as in meaning it

q: as in fnnnn.
a: what? you didn’t ask me that, if i interpret you correctly that is.
q: i didn’t, you do, isn’t it? always the matter. did it come as a surprise.
a: no, not really. it was pretty predictable. we knew they would react like this and were prepared.
q: that is always something, to be prepared i mean. i really mean it.
a: it is.
there was some pushing and shoving going on which we missed, sadly enough. we didn’t understand the answer. either. but there it was.

the presenter as an inflatable object

it was and handy thing to have, said sponge, but now as it goes on, i don’t know. not sure if that is a feature.
(the inflatable presenter. a great failure.)
no, said breadroll, he wasn’t it. the drawer and all.
let’s equip’im with better valves, said block of engine.
a man was hovering around the corner as well but he was not a major concern. he would sneak in a comment or two should the interview continue as nowly newly schedulded and dairied and should he take note of it.

as he said and now

how do we go from there, said sponge and breadroll was happy to reply: around the corner.
are you sure, said sponge, that it is that easy.
as easy as that, said breadroll, i was able to break our speech pattern.
true, said sponge, let’s go.
they moved.

angst as in rot

what are we, said breadroll, me and ye. nowst a pole and then a pile, nowst a wonder and a plunder then. we are a rye, a hog and what sins our smarting than an inert and angstful whatsoever leverage. phoooiy foooo, that’s it. our red arses shine to heavens loke no tomorrow.
he’s got it again, said sponge, blood fat level below acceptable. what shall people think?
that it is time to eat, said block of wood, excessively.

as it is as it tits

can we roll back on those tits, said sponge. we seem to be obsessed with it.
breadroll: wrroooah.
exactly this reaction, said sponge. how did we get so far?
well, said breadroll, from me having objects and inserted, me split open and spreads applied to the word tits is a way as short as toe to heel.
anyway, said sponge, we should stop. kind of. woffle woffle. kapoow kapoow. blokk has a weapon and know how to use it. he suspects sponge and breadroll to be but that’s really silly zwosh zwoing.

tits as it can

by way of repetition a yucca tree came into display, a sadly lanky one, and a chair. no-one on it. no-one had bothered to appear. that’s what the man thought as well who had had coffee on his own now for his nineth year in a row. pretty sad bastard he was and had developed a few habits that would ensure that he’ll stay lonely for another while. no-one had botherd to appear.
breadroll with wild salmon, lime, spring onion, that’ll be a treat instead of a silly and sad story.

repetition as a reocurring event

do you think so, said sponge.
yes, said breadroll, we repeat things and thinks as well.
ideas should be available, said sponge, we could nick some.
tea, said block of wood.
we really try to make a point here, said breadroll but it was to late; his last three words were caught it a repeater and morphed in the background.
at the more pleasant side of life we would see mommies spoil kids rotten at the swings-and-slides. they would share the space with pensioners and unemployed people nonsensing time away, an advertisement would occasinally brighten their day. that would give enough to talk about when they would meet their accomplishing partner whose days where not brightened by advertisements. whatever happens to the persoiners and the unemployeds we don’t know.
tea, said block of wood, that was a bit dull.
always, said breadroll, and we get to repeat what the other has said.

and around as in round and around we go

if i say now, said sponge, that’s it for the year it’ll be seen as one of those jokes one used to crack as a child: i shall not wash again for the yearshall not shave again for the year or mother not wanting to cook again in this year, jokes ill-perceived just one or two days later, but that’ll be it, it for the year and no joke.

as in quote

for some reason the pot is always steaming but the tea is always cold. they should stop serving steaming pots.
q: what then? if the pot policy changes?
a: that wasn’t me who said this; just because i’m in the same episode as the quote it doesn’t mean i said it, does it?
q: who said it then?
a: brekst did, i think. (he said fink to emphasise the importance).
q: brekst eh?
a: yes.

query as in q

i should take the sheep back, the man said.
the man had hidden behind various items, hence breadroll, sponge and block of wood did not notice him and — to honour the old days, to mark the occasion — threw in the occasional comment.
gosh, we didn’t notice you, said sponge.
googolly not at all, said block of wood.
there you are, said breadroll.
did you know where he had been, said sponge.
no, said breadroll, i wish to have a sheep tribunal.

quite urgently as a matter of fact

seriously, said breadroll, it should be looked into rather urgently — to paraphrase the title of this episode.
well, said sponge, there’s a process for every policy we should be happy it is that way for otherwise it’ll be different.
quite different, said block of wood.
i knew you would say this, said sponge.
so did i, said breadroll.

a start is only as good as it gets

a start, said sponge is only as good as the innovative thoughts that drive the continuation to a successful conclusion within competitive business targets. hence we are required to include syllables in the count.
count them?
yes. count them.
are you sure.
positive.
we didn’t get any training on syllables though, said breadroll.
not recently anyway, said block of wood.
alright, said sponge, we should mention that in the next meeting. there’s definitely an update.

agreement as a matter of fact

you know which word has been an item on the agenda for quite a while now which has not been addressed yet and there was no use in denying it.
i reckon we’re fine, said sponge, as the business changes so we continually review our agenda and terminological methodology to ensure that both meet the needs of the business. some recent enhancements have been made to introduce some value added tools as well as to improve the process.
the other two had little to add.
excellent work, they said matteroffactishly.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.