public body bargain

one day sponge forgot to put the other arm on, the one he remembered but not a glimpse of thought about the other. these things happen in a life time you might rightly say. he could take a train for free, the train people said, but there were no trains running that day due to industrial action, some dispute because of something one train person had said to the other train person and it was the wrong thing or said something and it would have been the right thing had it been said to the right person, or nothing had been said at all, which wasn’t what everyone or some expected and to settle all that the trains would not be running. perhaps it was an argument between train man and train woman, some-one suggested. a committee was to provide answers.
sponge decided to catch a bus instead. they offered reduced fare, but no free ride. superior services and the wrong arm missing. sorry mate, the busman said.
sponge wondered if his obsession with public transport was a healthy one.

about body and mind interchange

we receive a lot of letters. some abusive, others insulting, most despiteful. why? we take responsibility, said breadoll. we stand up for things. not too many, but if we were asked … for a fee … just ask.

there’s a letter that was thrown at us:

i hate to confess but i was a crappy junk food addict. i devoured all this traditional trash but just could not stop having genetically modified salads with actually organic tofu in between. this fatal passion ceased when i started course with sponge here and block of wood. oh, gawd, my inclination to eat properly vastly increased, spirits improved and i became the happiest person on the planet 5, cloud 8. 22.53 pounds in 2.31 months. i can tell you now I turned to the happiest person.

we really should comply, said sponge, make a start and let get it done. else we get our knickers in a twist and we all know how unfortunate that is.
i just want us to know that we do have a thing for fat women, said breadroll.
that’s though merely for the sounds, said sponge, fat woman sound nicer than the skinny one.

why elderly men wearing baseball caps sometimes have strong body odour

if there is one thing i love to do than it’ll be to reek like a rookie. there is nothing like it. the reasoning about reeking and rank and retirement makes the odour turn sour, the very substance that on the rookie’s mildly bulging body loiters and lingers as the bad news -for some- that it is, that substance or subs as insiders or ins as they call themselves usually call it that later will turn out to be the undercoat of your presence, that smell of butter gone sour and vapourising beer.
sponge was in a position to achieve this state and in that state he triumphantly glazed over his collegues. what a waste of words as none and not one were listening. he will have to repeat this shit.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.