collection of fictional facts

a man. morning sun. a quiet street. scene set. the man leaves the house, turns back to see if the door is locked, really shut, a neighbour returns to fetch the umbrella he has forgotten, it won’t rain when i have it, and the other neighbour, who is not a neighbour but lives 2 storeys up and 3 flats to the right, has not yet left the house (nobody has seen him in a while, i wouldn’t be surpirsed if he’s found stone dead and semidecayed). the man opens the door, locks it again, tries the door knob, the neighbour says sorry, opens the door, goes in. the man waits until the neighbour has left again with his umbrella, tires the door knob, it’s open. he locks the door and leaves.
the other neighbour, the one who isn’t a neighbour at all, was found eventually, dead and gone but fully putrefied. heart attack. apparently. makes you think.
the last sentence is to mention sponge and breadroll who have witnessed many scenes like that, albeit not this particular one, to tell all about it.

quite urgently as a matter of fact

seriously, said breadroll, it should be looked into rather urgently — to paraphrase the title of this episode.
well, said sponge, there’s a process for every policy we should be happy it is that way for otherwise it’ll be different.
quite different, said block of wood.
i knew you would say this, said sponge.
so did i, said breadroll.

agreement as a matter of fact

you know which word has been an item on the agenda for quite a while now which has not been addressed yet and there was no use in denying it.
i reckon we’re fine, said sponge, as the business changes so we continually review our agenda and terminological methodology to ensure that both meet the needs of the business. some recent enhancements have been made to introduce some value added tools as well as to improve the process.
the other two had little to add.
excellent work, they said matteroffactishly.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.