so you say without a shop how to accomplish actually

i had to do this line, said breadroll, and now i am trying to defuse the argument. my best.
well who says you are the understanding one, said sponge, i was a person when you were still a breakfast item and it wasn’t a breakfeast if i’m allowed a pun.
that i’m aware of, said breadroll, i think you’re not exaggerating, so, shall we skip it it?
ya why not, said sponge, that leaves us with a bare feeding occasion. if you get the gist.
barely, but steadily, said breadroll, bare feeding occasion. is that what they call it in english?
no, but they would need a shop to get stuff.

when and how to get up

my phone will take care of that, said sponge, my phone will ring on time. with a phone like this i’m sorted, i really am.
and sorted he was, it was perfectly right for him to say so; having signed up with the company in order to receive this phone along with regular updates and occasional upgrades and to be on the list, in the know and out of trouble was the best thing he had done in a long while.
the best thing i did in a long while, said sponge, the others are thinking of signing up, too.

how soon is soon

shouldn’t he be back, said breadroll.
maybe they are at his, said sponge so he’d be a while.
you shouldn’t even think that, said block of wood, it’s so negative.
true, said sponge, we start again.
shouldn’t he be back soon, said breadroll.
(can he just change the opening line, said block of wood.
i think so, said sponge, he’s a senior at this stage.)
shortly, said sponge.
how soon is that, said breadroll.
soon, said sponge.

how much is a muchness

man 1 and man 2 thought long and hard what to do.
man 1 went into politics, man 2 did not. everyone contributed to the first man’s wellbeing, and he was happy. man 2 was unemployed, felt useless and that he was.
i may as well, he said, be a sponge, a breadroll or a block of wood, wouldn’t be much of a muchness.

how to tea

sponge was stirring his tea. it is an a art and a source of inspiration, he said, to stir the tea in the right way. not any auld way of stirring would do, tell you that for nothing.
no reply.
sponge stirred his tea in a very concentrated and organised manner. there is no point rushing it, he said, you may as well leave it fullstop if you want to rush it.
block of wood sat down at the table with a cup of coffee.
now that is a completely different matter, he said. you may want to be very careful when stirring it. a delicate thing to do.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.