i told you we have to wait

another repetitive day, breadroll asked.
no, said sponge, it must be a trick. you asked for it, said breadroll. i think we had exactly the same episode before, he said. feck off. piss off. swear words. dirty language. lead your outlets to propel you further. good british ways of telling some-one to bugger off.
let your droplets propel you further, very elegant.
outlets, they said, it’s outlets.
i know, code for droplets. trust me.
they waited.

another cup of coffee for i go

i’m off, said someone and did really get up and went. someone had offered him another cup of tea but he said he wanted coffee as he was going. not a good reason for a coffee. someone wanted to bring a cup of coffee but the other didn’t want to wait. i’ll be rushing, someone said and was off. he just went without a cup of coffee or a goodbye. such was the rush that he didn’t finish his tea. he had ordered a beer, not tea. the waitress had got it wrong and brought a rhum instead to apologise, that was policy. all a bit confusing. sponge had not been there and couldn’t quite remember.

if i may

i could go up there, said sponge, if i may. i might fall down though.
i may do anything, said breadroll, and so do you in or during the month of may. and so may you.
that’s right, said sponge, now that you say it. i may actually go up there and see how it is. then again, i may fall down.
just like those three ladies, said breadroll.
what three ladies, said sponge.
don’t know, said breadroll, three ladies, not too old, went up and fell down. that was it.
terrible, said sponge.

i will not sustain criticism

things got even more difficult, said sponge, you know, with us on the move, jolly moving as we are.
we are about to stop, said breadroll.
no we are not, said sponge, i will not err what’s the word …
sustain, said breadroll.
exactly.

we and i have a particular view of the world in common

are we second to none you think, said sponge.
no, said breadroll, not we, third maybe or fourth.
even fifth, said sponge. breadroll approved. probably sixth, he said.
that’s not too bad, said sponge.

very funny for that matter but i don’t think we should laugh at all

and on we went walking. on the trail less travelled. around corners where others never would think to take a snoop around. they walked, now view view from top. the three walking. heading towards another corner.
if anyone wants o take a leak, said sponge, it would be a chance now.
i took a leek from a garden back there but it was rather raw, said block of wood.
if you think british is about funny puns, said sponge, it is not. it is about puns, that’s it — (he gave the final ‘t’ a really sharp finish to make a point).

if i had

if i had a car, said sponge, if only, knockknock.
and a hammer, said breadroll.
what’s the hammer for, said block of wood.
one always has a hammer, said breadroll, should have one, ought to, at least and particularily when one owns a car.
we take the statement and put it into consideration.

pff (for all i can say)

lights on, gradually. chair, table, yucca tree.
as i said, said sponge. stopped. he hovered around a bit and then went off.
we are just as clueless as you are, perhaps, about what might have happened there.
pff = sound of sudden exhalation with lips closed as much as possible.

i guess thus i am

the train now approaching platform one is the eight o’five service to crapwalk, calling at fuckoff, getlost, bruisington and shitstir.
i guess, said sponge, that’s not ours.
guess not, said breadroll.
anything else to discuss?
guess not, said block of wood.
guess we’re done for today, said sponge.
think so too, said breadroll.

i have an idea

at least i should make the effort, don’t care what they use it for, said sponge.
to make more efforts, said breadroll.
block of wood turn into a moment and lingered for a while.

go on i dare you

the way, said sponge, did not turn out to be as bendy as we anticipated, we should adjust our forecast, and generally speaking we are making good progress…
excellent progress, said breadroll.
excellent progress, that’s right, thank you, and we all are more than well prepared for putting one foot ahead of the other. i am aware that this may be seen as a bit of a challenge, however, i am also confident that we will master this challenge – even though the training could have been better.
blokk beat sponge, and sponge beat breadroll – for the sake of it.
after briefly discussing the reasons for aforementioned activities they continued on their way, step step.

may i introduce myself?

seamus brandon. but you can call me remus. uncle remus actually. boy, you’ve grown. last time i saw you they used you only on the smallest specks, and now look at you. that’s how many years now? at least if not more i’d say.
sponge always had seen himself as an adventurer and explorer, ready and willing to seek out and explore the most remote areas, but never before had this dream included the exploration of pluto and the alpha centauri region. he felt ready now to take up the struggle and go on that very journey, to leave.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.