if you don’t know what to say say something

distinction rather than extinction, said sponge, is what our company is after. i’ve chosen those words carefully yet there are weaknesses in detail. he looked around the everexpanding room. breadroll sat on a chair that once had been near the middle of the room. why does this room have to grow bigger every minute, he said, i can’t here you. can we not have ideas of our own? in russia rooms used to expand, it happened once, but here?
ah well, said sponge, people don’t know that bit about russia, not many people.

if i may

i could go up there, said sponge, if i may. i might fall down though.
i may do anything, said breadroll, and so do you in or during the month of may. and so may you.
that’s right, said sponge, now that you say it. i may actually go up there and see how it is. then again, i may fall down.
just like those three ladies, said breadroll.
what three ladies, said sponge.
don’t know, said breadroll, three ladies, not too old, went up and fell down. that was it.
terrible, said sponge.

tits would help sell if it was not for the obstacles

ti, sponge, that’s it backwards. much better — preferable; less offensive that way as there could be breasts all over the place. it’s, that swings tits in it, doesn’t it. [pause. in a perfectly clean breakfest scenario breadroll and block of wood are having breakfast. a healthy breakfast not a stealthy one as a man needs to do a man’s day work] —– it’s, you’d see them swinging, wouldn’t you. that would not be right.

if you think that was witty think again

bloob. blobb. blobb. bloob. porridge. rigidly porridge. that’s all we have these days, said sponge.
not true, said breadroll, we have jam, butter, cheese, sausages, eggs, chocolate.
but no porridge, said block of wood.
no porridge, said breadroll.
and toast, said block of wood.
how could i forget toast, said breadroll, tell me how could i?

another effort carny folk if you want to be republicans

still holding a cutlet and some sausages in one hand and a mixer in the other plus some added cocktail sauce, sponge says: splatter without blood is nothing at all fer sake; and pours a pint of stage blood on the stage. get this: stage blood on stage, as if it was made for it. mad action all together.

good if you could

nah neither today we can’t errr, couldn’t, said sponge, if we wanted to. honestly, couldn’t if you’d paid us.
it was a fine morning, the sun hidden behind clouds, hence not too bright, no birds screaming either, a nice and pale grey morning; all set for an episode.
impossible, said breadroll, could not bring myself to do it. neither could block of wood; isn’t that right?
correct, said block of wood.

if i had

if i had a car, said sponge, if only, knockknock.
and a hammer, said breadroll.
what’s the hammer for, said block of wood.
one always has a hammer, said breadroll, should have one, ought to, at least and particularily when one owns a car.
we take the statement and put it into consideration.

if not on the sheet

do you think the answer is on the spreadsheet, breadroll said to sponge, pointing at the spreadsheet and holding off block of wood wanting to hump his leg.
probably, said sponge, with or without silly puns. just have a look.
string not found.
string not found.
did you try searchterm, said sponge, search term. search. term. which is exactly what we do. search. term. we search a term. term search ‘searchterm’.
no result.
now, when was this sheet updated last, said breadroll.
there’s an issue, said sponge, and we identified it. we should discuss it. whatever we i identify i mean to say.it should be what we are searching for.
silence. tea maybe, but not a word.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.