terror is a big a word as anything

but would we?
frozen with terror, should we let them terr’ists prevail? a big a question. a word has been thrown out there. sponge sit. breadroll stands.
we should be safe though, what should happen. the lad over there has a monobrow, does it make him suspicious? the other lads mumbles to himself? a brief prayer before action? thoughts of tearing the lad’s face off. dismissed thought, not good but a start. there should be a line of comfort. remining positive.

it is a day after all

we didn’t really prepare for a special for today, did we?
no we didn’t.
i though so, didn’t i, said sponge, feeling slightly happy having made the point. we just have cake then if we find some, he knew to add.

tomorrow is a term that does not know itself

tomorrow another day, said breadroll, and was corrected by sponge. another day perhaps but a day where we did want to do something special.
tjae such days, said breadroll.
the meeting then faded and nobody knew really about tomorrow anymore. we could do more with this subject.

brekst is not an easy man to go

i have another one, brekst said, and brekst read out:

feel embarrassment when joining her in bedroom?
forget the feeling, become her best partner ever!
we know what’s needed for your case.
natural hardness and boosted drive.

that’s so natural, one of the bystanders said.
o shut up, said sponge, what do you know?
the bystander, a mother of two, was disgusted and left. poetry does have o struggle in this country, brekst knew to add.

there is hope where there’s britain

a british truck is bound to carry british crips, said sponge, and has them delivered to a shop.
some fried liver as well perhaps for the deli counter, said breadroll.
that was the extend of their conversation. sponge and breadroll at times took great pride in saying just the essential things.

sponge is the plight almighty of the working class

why anyway are these people here why a shop that has no crisps but tweed in an area that cannot stomach anything heavier than a burger? a frozen pizza maybe to be extravagant in the summer know what i mean. sausage rolls. pyjamas, yes. but tweed? — english, the englishman said but he was not to appear for a while and neither did anyone else. having that settled we remain with:-

NOTHING.

but the plight of sponge in a grey tracksuit as it goes without saying.

today a day is a day

sponge, breadroll and block of wood did not say much more, just this: if it wasn’t for tomorrow i would not not what to do or whom and it doesn’t take the length of a spit to fathom that. today is a good enough day to say or do things, you know what i mean? whati’m talking about; and where i’m coming from? —

salvation is more than a naked lady from offally

all the men so far were gobshites, said block of wood, and no-one needs to comment on the fact of my recently rare appearances.
we know, said sponge, thou art the michael jackson of rare appearances although your face isn’t quite falling apart enough to hold the title forever.
that is not funny, said block of wood.
no, said breadroll, it’s not but what can we do? there is somebody writing our story and there is little we can do to influence him.
not much, said sponge, we could offer ransom or naked ladies but the would wouldn’t work as every bribe would be told. we are pretty much fictinonal characters —— at least we are not supposed to be from offally.

one stick is better than no stick at all

we won’t get far with only one stick.
no?
never.
bummer. i was hoping to.
what?
nothing. i suppose one can’t be witty all the time.
no. one cannot.

as it is as it tits

can we roll back on those tits, said sponge. we seem to be obsessed with it.
breadroll: wrroooah.
exactly this reaction, said sponge. how did we get so far?
well, said breadroll, from me having objects and inserted, me split open and spreads applied to the word tits is a way as short as toe to heel.
anyway, said sponge, we should stop. kind of. woffle woffle. kapoow kapoow. blokk has a weapon and know how to use it. he suspects sponge and breadroll to be but that’s really silly zwosh zwoing.

what the unknown man is likely to think

soccer, said herr brekst, sucker. smørrebrøb err –brød. that’s what every other lad wants.
we were so very delighted to see herr brekst safe and sound albeit somewhat clinically depressed that we did not challenge him on his latest statement. what did he come for anyway?

inflated is a better living

q: i hope we are fnnnn all better now.
a: you know the other day i really felt today it’ll open. when the drawer eventually opened, you know what i mean.
q: there was a presence wasn’t there.
a: there was.
fnnn.

what is a breadnut

q: you mentioned some word the reader might not readily understand; would you like to explain?
a: a subject indeed as hairy as the breadnuts you’ve mentioned earlier. we are in an ongoing precess, or process, as the more conservative amongst you might say, but we are actually precessing something here, some shitty old garbage and then we run to the kitchen hoping to find somebody desparate enough to listen to our story, actually if they don’t get away in time they are geting the full story starting when this lad there and then bus came, the full story, thn th keybrroad brks, whata- a shit day. just loockkkkatihs.

because it is wasted

well now, said sponge, the jam is almost over and we shall continue with the interview.
and other aspects, said breadroll.
to be read between the lines on a need-to-know basis, said sponge, yes; we have a presentation here to be trained.
why can we not be just boring one day again, said block of wood.

waste is rubbish is it not

and bringing brekst in would have resolved the issue? breadroll clearly wants to make a reference to a yesterday headline.
maybe, said block of wood, if an issue had been raised.

is he the one

it was a pillow after all, said block of wood and took off the hat. —— i am back, he said. no answer. i am back.
yucca tree, two chair: the stage was empty.
in other words: he was alone
the world is a stage, said block of wood, we’ll talk to the audience.

wit is a rare reality these days

having to come up, said sponge, with something witty each and every day is quite a burden. —— it does not always work. sometimes. really. but it’s rare, ever so often. today i would say much, not if i was you.

a hat is a cushion is a task

a hat is a hat is a hat, said breadroll.
you have a point, said sponge, but a pillow is a pillow is a pillow.
did we not need a cushion, said breadroll.
let’s not rush things, said sponge and smiled. he had worked for a while on this punchline and was glad having managed to stage it so flawlessly.

the power to innovate is rarely wasted

somehow — as herr brekst revealed — it had not been as as hard as one might believe. the trick is, herr brekst said, to let a sound be followed by another, appropriate sound that accompanies and complements the previous word and is itself followed, accompanied and complemented by another sound; and so on.
amazing, said sponge, innovative, exciting.
what is there for us to say, said breadroll and block of wood almost unisono.

which white is whiter to the wittiest

magnolia, said sponge, who would have thought? no white screen has ever been magnolia. that’s a different setup altogether.
somewhere else maybe, said breadroll.
where, said sponge and looked over.
nowhere, said breadroll.
good, said sponge, that doesn’t make sense. i wasn’t finished actually. — magnolia, as i tried to point out earlier on this morning is an amazing variant of white maybe but too much an innovation to be a mere shade of white to be honest; and to stick to the title and the underlying title-text-match policy you should replace appearances of magnolia with something from the grey area.
sponge tried to look jolly and thus marked the end of the episode.

shan’t is not a four-lettered word

room. yucca tree. the usual. fat woman in the corner, sitting, covered with a bed sheet.
we should hang out for a while, said sponge, have a break, get away from it all. (points at woman) do we know who she came to talk to?
no, said block of wood, but i got rather friendly with her.
you talk to her then, said sponge, shall we uncover her?
no, said block of wood, we shan’t.
that’s a swell word to use, said sponge, shan’t.
isn’t it just, said block of wood, and so is swell. a swell word.
there we go, said sponge, and swell isn’t a shan’t word.

a start is never easier than a start

was it a good report, said sponge, comments.
tit for tat, said breadroll.
agreed, said block of wood.
it was a long morning; and they struggled to keep busy.

how soon is soon

shouldn’t he be back, said breadroll.
maybe they are at his, said sponge so he’d be a while.
you shouldn’t even think that, said block of wood, it’s so negative.
true, said sponge, we start again.
shouldn’t he be back soon, said breadroll.
(can he just change the opening line, said block of wood.
i think so, said sponge, he’s a senior at this stage.)
shortly, said sponge.
how soon is that, said breadroll.
soon, said sponge.

such is the day

and today, said sponge.
today, said breadroll.
today is, said sponge and exhaled noisily.
is what, said block of wood.
a particularily tedious day, said sponge, repetitious.
is it the one, said breadroll.
it is, said block of wood. guessing.
the day that occurs every week, said sponge.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.