so say just for the fun would you like to have sex with me

the next joke will be a fart joke and it will mention the war, children will be harmed and there will be great disaster. we may ask for your help and support. but we will be fine after all. that is a promise. you can take that as a pledge, of sorts. we just need some understanding. some excitement. we need your trust to the point where we need you to actually rely on us.
breadroll never had a thing for cheap beer but rarely found shops that had anything on offer but.

lost me jumper

sponge: you know that they’re jumpy.
breadroll: the episodes.
yes, the reader knows that.
sponge:the narrative stream.
the reader is aware of that. this is the early 21st century which really is the late 20th century and the reader has been repeatedly confronted with literary experminents and has developed a likeing or at least a tolerance so the littering effect should be fairly reasonable.
breadroll: the stream of narration is virtually non-existent.
the reader is aware of that. this is the early 21st century which really should be called or at least be known as the late 20th century (if we may make a point there or two) and the reader has been repeatedly exposed to experminents involving passages of readibility and has developed a likeing and thus an aeruptive discharge of spending power hence the readiculing effect should be fairly tolerable.
block of wood: the way we are presented.
breadroll: i’m cold.
sponge: naked word. that’s it.

pour me a stiff drink

poor me. poor me. poooor poor, me.
what happened? why this outburst (strong word!) of disappointment (devastation rather; self pity), this sudden outbreak of devastated morale (we mentioned devastation; repeating and rephrasing sentences without apparent reason or narrative need used to be a quality of writers paid by the word.).
sponge’s hopes of being able to present an interviewer his insights in a finely crafted conversation, headed and tailed and fullbodiedly connected in between had been spoilt by a series of events that partially have been reported already or will be — in non-chronological order — told in due course, alternating between points in time but not in this episode which is — to utterly confuse the reader — set in the here and now.

email me little japanese warriors

well now, said sponge, it’s time to summarise. i’ve sent you all an email about it.
did you, said block of wood.
i did, said sponge, how nice of me.

perhaps you can give me an update

and, said breadroll, you certainly heard something in that direction?
what do you mean, said sponge.
not the, said breadroll, other direction?
i think, said block of wood, he means because of your asymmetrical ears, because they are asymmetrical, it may have been some other direction, perhaps.
or a different direction, said breadroll.
i see, said sponge.
what about your eyes, said breadroll.

feed me

feed me, said the spreadsheet.
no reaction. who answers to a spreadsheet?
could you pass me the butter, please, said breadroll.
sandwich spread, said block of wood.
butter he said, said sponge.
a clear statement, said breadroll.
they remained seated.

brief me brief me hard and long

when fishburger turns up, the man said, brief him on this and that but don’t be easy on him, he needs to know. the man said that and went away, was gone.
he will not turn up, said breadroll, and if he does, he’ll be stuck into the spreadsheets, not a chance to launch a joke.
if we had a good one, said sponge, it’ll be wasted.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.