more lashings of lard

remember, said sponge. hello. hello hello. hello. two hellos there and two hellos back in return.
that was a knife attack.
yes, it was, funny, when you think back.
quite, said breadroll, the old days. the fat lady sung and the phone never rung. deliveries never arrived and everybody did with less. crime, punishment, all real back then. i liked butter but that’s not on these days. no, siad sponge, all the carbs could kill you.

funny dialogues between two or more people

look, it is like this, he said, we have to talk to people. go out there, do something.
funny you say that, breadroll said. he paused. always paused. he was the most difficult person to write dialogue for. must have been the drink. yes, he drank, like a sponge. sponge didn’t bother.
why, he said. we could have a meeting with the train people.  learn wregwsss or whatever they speak. train people have a sense of humour, we’ve got to be more like them, more positive, outgoing, involved. get into dialogue with the lot.
problem is, dialogue involves two people but when you catch one of them another one inevitably joins in.
there must be a way to involve more than two people in a dialogue.
it sort of only works in literature.
really? that’s just what people say, you know, a saying.

more on that

the train people take it easy, says sponge. easy, says breadroll. they sit while numbers change on the electronic dashboard. we didn’t really talk about train people before, did we?
no, said sponge, train people. something went wrong. he didn’t say much after that.

that is no more an option than the other option

it was good, said sponge, even i find the thought revolting now when i come to think of it.
although it did happen all a bit of a sudden, said breadroll. no build up to it really. normally there is a hint of some sort. something at least. and we could have found other ways of entertainment.
i don’t think people liked it much, said sponge.
probably not, said breadroll. we do tend to labour on about things.
yea well, but are you going to do. ring in some cabaret?
phone would be outside.

there will be more rain eventually

it is raining, said sponge, raining rain. i thought that would be something different to say about the rain. but there is room for improvement, certainly.
a different shade of grey over there, said breadroll and pointed. ove there. they took a long time to examine the other shade with no conclusion.
maybe other drops, said sponge.

one more song again

q: you once said you weren’t that type of celebrity.
a: i could make an exception, couldn’t i?
q: could you? would you?
a: i could.
q: so we leave it at that.
a: i could do it again.
a small moustache performed a lazy dance while he spoke. knowing the train man’s general way opinion sponge gave in to a feeling of confidence, which was only a memory the next morning.

sponge more or less

where is he, said breadroll, and block of wood said nothing. nothing at all for the entire day.
breadroll spent some time counting spots on the pavement.

offally is more than a memory

did you hear about offally, said sponge. he look straight ahead. they have bombed offally.
some time ago, said breadroll. was it a hate crime after all?
no, said sponge, sectarian apparently, or maybe religious. they are not sure. sectarian religionists. religious sectarities. lots of offal flying around.
cultists?
no, said sponge, cultists wouldn’t be so reasonable.

today is a day once more

today is a day is a day is day is a day is a day is a day is a day. today. is a day is a day is day is a day is a day is a day is a day. and so on. there is no stopping them.
it’s stuff like this, said sponge, that gives us all a bad reputation; and not only this, other stuff, too. other stuff indeed more than other things.

announcing more movement does not set things in motion

i’d really like to get there, the man said and pointed towards the toilet, badly, he said. he got up and ran.
we should get going, said sponge.
two unrelated statements, made at different locations, at or around the same time, followed by diverse implementation.

salvation is more than a naked lady from offally

all the men so far were gobshites, said block of wood, and no-one needs to comment on the fact of my recently rare appearances.
we know, said sponge, thou art the michael jackson of rare appearances although your face isn’t quite falling apart enough to hold the title forever.
that is not funny, said block of wood.
no, said breadroll, it’s not but what can we do? there is somebody writing our story and there is little we can do to influence him.
not much, said sponge, we could offer ransom or naked ladies but the would wouldn’t work as every bribe would be told. we are pretty much fictinonal characters —— at least we are not supposed to be from offally.

the man once more

the man was a father of two from offally.
offally?
yes.
a father of two, surprised he was not shot.
fathers of two usually die in car crashes. they are rarely assaulted and hardly ever shot. the armed forces don’t really care about them.
sponge would have liked a turnip, not a turnip maybe, some other root, an apple, which isn’t a root at all, or a piece of toast but there was only breadroll.

a lot done more to do

q: politicised titles to episodes seem to be a new way of expression?
a: an expression of way.
q: out?
a: off.
they hadn’t gone far. not gone at all to be honest. they had planned to though, honestly. but i saw a man, said breadroll, with a large face and tiny dolly lips as if he was sucking a stone. he wore a pin-stripped suit. he was a banker. wouldn’t it make you think if you knew your banker is sucking stones?

action is more like a shop than anything republicans would say or admit for that matter

q: a rather grimm place they’ve come across, the city with corners without any shops at all. let’s see how they cope with it.
a: no, that is not fair questioning at all. we have been plunged into this with no warning whatsoever and ever since tried to cope as best we can.
q: you object fnn this statement rather vigourously — now there’s an ugly looking word — so what is the matter.
if they go left they would find a corner and to the right a street with another corner right after it. not to mention other corners in sight.
i suppose the usual witty comment, said breadroll, to follow; i for one would like to be buttered. he could easily say that for even though buttering him was a considerably nasty affair for all parties involved the lack of butter and shops to buy butter made buttering a faintly imaginable activity. i think i see a shop.
words like this won’t make it far.

more attention to intention

mind you, said blokk, still in squasher mood —- utlra passiv-aggressive with a worrying active-aggressive streak, he was actually meant to be slightly more depressive but there was a last minute ok for this version — we used to eat flies with our eggs.
but we didn’t seek to, said sponge, the flies got between the eggs by accident.
that was funny, said breadroll, for the people watching. a bit nutty-crunchy.

more brutality you should say

can you hear me. blokk was in the shouting phase of his rage special. he know over the lamp. you can’t, bollocks.
we have to knock him off soon.
yes. it’s getting repetitive, said breadroll, how about a poem?
brekst? nah. we really should do something with …
phones?
yes.
no.
yes.
no.
let’s discuss it.
power meeting?
no. mower peating?
sounds good.

more ham and less paper

“more taxis, less brag”, the people cried, “more taxis, less brag”, as the general election were nigh, and politician were generally nice and promising, almost rock’n’roll but not quite but rock’n’roll is flexible and in the move. getting there.
more taxis would have helped us during the motion ban, said sponge, much more than actually did and certainly more than the government is bragging about.
which explains the public opinion. that’s what sponge said who shares an opinion on these things.

more roundish

they sat in a circle, waiting for something.
that is how quickly innovations crumble, said breadroll.

one more song

the presenter announces a further song and the following happens:
block of wood turns into his ultra-violent alter ego and the presenter will have his head smashed in (badly), his heart cut out (a marble), his liver removed (about time) and his bottom roasted by blokk.
.
q: fnnn fnnnn fnn fnnnn?
a: i know you want to provoke me to burst into a song but i’m not that type of celebrity at all.

more practise

it is encrypted, said sponge.
what? (wot, watt?)
the episode, for copy and other right reasons.
o dear.

more on words

if we enjoy them we should complain, said breadroll.
we should, said sponge, but we can’t. it is all about policies and there is none for complaints. at least not to-date.
no policy, said block of wood, are you sure?
sure, said sponge.
they had tea.
the dialogue had come to an end.

more feathers

feathers, said breadroll, feathers, feathers.
fatherse, said block of wood, as some people say.
they are snobs, said breadroll. feethars maybe.

more to do

i thought we had a report there as well, said breadroll.
to be compiled, said block of wood, the achievements report is a big thing.
it’s huge, said sponge, we have to outline quite some stuff and do further updates to point out issues we’ve identified. that’s nothing to be taken lightly. we also have a bun to devour at lunchtime.

more quests

– will there be a priest?
– no. just a minister, but with training in spiritual food poisoning and sacrosanct process modules, years of experience apparently. there’s also a limit on cream puffs, should you choose to throw more than a dozen.
well that’s grand, said sponge, i drum a rhythmic pattern on block of wood and you dance, stag. i shall handle the door knob.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.