and so long beards grow in the spirit of things

another week passed and time stood still in fastslow passing. sponge grew a beard and breadroll a fungus that looked like a beard. that’s how it goes. said sponge, we’ve been good and are being rewarded with growth. bit itchy though, said breadroll. that’s to keep us on our toes, said sponge. we must not become complacent.

coffee calms and so does paper

she read a paper, her finger loosely tracing the lines. she smiled briefly from time to time and, more frequently, slightly shook her head in disbelief.
you’ll have to change that, said breadroll, people don’t do that in real life, shake their head and stuff when they read. they don’t participate, they know it is not something one has to do when reading. only in movies, maybe. that little episode is very advanced, i don’t think i can change it like that. besides, people generally enjoy the protagonists to show some animation, a human touch, even if it is not realistic. it is a symbol, it is the realistic power of irrealism. one describes thing in a way they are not to show what they are and why.
that makes sense, said breadroll, but it doesn’t really make sense.
the queue had moved, the were closer to the counter. hope we are in the right queue, said sponge. we’re almost there, said breadroll.
the woman read a paper. a cup of coffee on the table. cold coffee, unfinished by somebody. occasionally the waitress came over to ask, was she, the reading woman, finished with it. no, the woman said, i’m still drinking it. she continued to read. calmly.

daft so far

how’s it going. so, so. don’t think much of it. we hadn’t had much in the way of meaning so far. a few headings, some cryptic mutterings, not much so far to look at. a sponge and a breadroll should be able to do more and make a difference. not a word about the miserable and afflicted but many publications ignore them, just too unpleasant. there are, of course, popular miseries, which go well with the crowd, which the crowd can relate to, not too much goo, no oozing sores, that wouldn’t be good, the children would ask questions. most, however, are not of that type and plain uncomforable, understandably one does not want to hear about it.
but there is chewing gum on the pavement. yes there is, plenty. but that’s a daft thing to say. you could find something in it though.

day to so remember

so we are, entrenched, said sponge, he was, of course exaggerating. so there they sat, sat at least, not idly loiterish standing like the rest of all.
they spent time sitting, mostly, holding on to their seats, making sure stuff that may not have been sure before or may have become uncertain; inconsistent results. wet conditions. not set to improve.

not quite so old and witty

o the fun we had, said sponge, that was really fun. we were different then. less grubby. more snappy celery. now we know the right queue from the wrong, as they say. i have never heard anyone saying that but it is important to remember to choose the right queue, one for hopeful things, worthy the disappointment. though it is hard to spot them, requires practice, which one doesn’t get from waiting in the wrong one. but we are hopeful.
a hungry lady wants a bite of me, said breadroll.
she should queue for bread, said sponge. where is an angry mob when you need it.

and so another effort again

the rain has stopped for a while, said sponge, but not for long. i wonder if that is the climate change.
smells like i anyway, said breadroll, i smell a rat when i see one.
that was the most stupid comment in a while.
was meant to be.
that brings me back, said sponge, hours of senseless talk. just speak. he looks around, sees nothing. ya well, he says.

so say just for the fun would you like to have sex with me

the next joke will be a fart joke and it will mention the war, children will be harmed and there will be great disaster. we may ask for your help and support. but we will be fine after all. that is a promise. you can take that as a pledge, of sorts. we just need some understanding. some excitement. we need your trust to the point where we need you to actually rely on us.
breadroll never had a thing for cheap beer but rarely found shops that had anything on offer but.

so you say without a shop how to accomplish actually

i had to do this line, said breadroll, and now i am trying to defuse the argument. my best.
well who says you are the understanding one, said sponge, i was a person when you were still a breakfast item and it wasn’t a breakfeast if i’m allowed a pun.
that i’m aware of, said breadroll, i think you’re not exaggerating, so, shall we skip it it?
ya why not, said sponge, that leaves us with a bare feeding occasion. if you get the gist.
barely, but steadily, said breadroll, bare feeding occasion. is that what they call it in english?
no, but they would need a shop to get stuff.

so so we just ask

q: and how did this soldiers come about?
a: that to tell would indeed require an extraordinary rendition on our part — and we’re not budgeted for that right now.
answer to give the sarge would be required who unfortunately was busy supervising the occasional rape and pillage. this is the plight with fullscale engagements, they are fast-paced and implemented decisions as they come up, however it should be soon over as this corner is rather unevenful, unlikely they will find anything massively destructive here.
fnnn. add a quote:-

the art of war, then, is governed by five constant
factors, all to factored in and to be taken into account
in one’s deliberations —and then to squeeze a fuck in between the factoring by ways other than mispelling but we get carried away now—,
when seeking to determine the
conditions obtaining in the field between harvests and serious battles.
these are plain bold: (1) the moral law and the immoral one and the other one; (2) heaven and hell and mary and joseph; (3) planet earth;
(4) the commander as such; (5) policies and compliance.

rarely we get such impressive quotes.

so close to offence but lucky to avoid it

with this nose attached to you one could say you look like moe hermit, said sponge who felt lucky not having to wear the funny nose. you’d think that’ll cause burning irish flags but no, it’s carneval and decent as we folks are we staged the tableau as a dark room scene and people can only see our genitals.
hoho, said block of wood who had wear a hat like hitler, we still would envy breadroll for his mao whiskers. he did a few gestures purely to kill time. risking that we’re stuck here forever i suggest we do a few funny games just to kill some time.

we are content so far

actually, said sponge and appeared stern, actually the waiting bit is not scheduled and we are actually not waiting for anything at all; officially — a semicolon is a way to avoid a new sentence.

so what will it be then

i did come to ask a question, herr brekst said. a question or two, to be correct, a query.
breadroll and block of wood sat with the deflated presenter. sponge was nowhere to be seen (bathroom? my first guess.). a scene of tranquility and peace (still in bed?).
the presenter had told the others about the burning questions he still has to ask in the name of his audience (who will be rewarded with a portable barbeque kit – one for each)(is he hiding somewhere?) but unfortunately today did not seem to be a success (alright, i give up, where is he?).
i pulled a nose hair, the full length of it, herr brekst said, but that is although a success not the reason why i am here.

so whatever

stark or stork, said sponge, does it really matter? with the middleweight growing stronger? in a reely sense perhaps; marginally.
it is never so hard once you got over it, said block of wood. i am more concerned, he said, about a breadroll taking my credits. i know the head was tiny and i live to testify.
most fat women have tiny heads, said sponge.

so tired

we’ve got to severely finish them rhinos, said sponge, off.
quite awkward this morning, said breadroll, aren’t we.
he was and they were and all of them and hence ready to engage intercoursingly (fuck) with everyone in the corporate world (office) whichever video was shown during the length of a presentation (to make a powerpoint and pay a fiver straight and without complaints like last time straight into the pun penalty box, as block of wood rightly points out just when the image fades for another round of sleep).

so far

sponge, breadroll and block of wood sat on the couch.
kekkekkek utuul goh, said breadroll.
rrrrrrot dadida dada ffroll, said block of wood.
my word, said sponge, there would have been a time for such word, my word. this is sofa. sofa, take a bow. sofa does not move, you see. let us go now.
sponge, breadroll and block of wood sat on the sofa.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.