no spreadsheet today

a birthday? sponge hopped with exitement. a funny move but to no avail. do i get to sit wet on a chair like in the old days?
no, he could not do that.
we get to spread a sheet? right, a proper spreadsheet?
no. no spreadsheet.
who’s birthday is it?
someone special, said breadroll.
we cannot tell, said block of wood, it’s confidential; a shame but true.
someone famous, sponge ought to know.
no, a celebrity, said block of wood, tea?
yes. tea, said sponge. we won’t move too much today i reckon.
all in moderation as the english say, said breadroll.
fabulous people, said sponge.

it would have been better we had put her in a spreadsheet

what happened to the fat lady, said sponge, i wonder.
fat woman, said breadroll.
yes, what happened.
no idea, said breadroll and scratched his crust, block of wood was dealing with her.
i see, said sponge, we lost track of her, didn’t we?
she promised to ring, said block of wood, or email.
cc me in, said sponge, i love to be kept in the loop.
that was a fairly civil conversation, said breadroll.
it was, wasn’t it, said sponge.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.