rather than a dialogue we’ll have two monologues

no we can’t. really not? no. not a chance? no. you’ve heard it. nothing we can do. nothing to do with us.
the neighbour had left the house this morning. never arrived where he was expected. never returned to where no-one was waiting. never called. we couldn’t tell what happened.
so we’ll never hear the end of it, said sponge. no, we won’t.
the man had sat down of a metal chair outside the cafe. he waited. nobody came to take his orders, nobody joined his wait. the cafe was closed. the owner had declared himself bankrupt. why where the chairs still outside? why did everything look as if the cafe was still open for business? the man asked none of these questions, instead, after a brief glance at his watch, he got up and left and a while later somebody came to carried table and chairs inside as the owner had hung himself in the kitchen. no need to keep up appearances. the man walked for an hour or so until he came to a bridge.
symbolic that. indeed. will he cross it, said breadroll.
the man stood there and waited, crossing a bridge, he thought, very symbolic, who knows what’s to happen, let’s not get excited. he stood without moving and was forgotten about. there was no bridge anyway, but a river or a canal, or a fence. dust caught in his trouser legs and they blended in with the pavement. leaves gathered around him and he saw autumn turning to winter. people ceased running into him and paths showed around a heap of leaves.
that stuff happens only in poems, novels and films. true enough, said sponge. although i read a story once where a man had turned into a slug or a spider or something. some kind of creature. wasn’t a novel.
the man turned left. he walked until he came to a small square, lined with cafés and shops, where waiters were serving people and a grocer spoke to a an old lady. i shall be off, the lady said, and left. she went to the butcher’s for pork chops and the butcher asked whether she could be interested in some lamb. no right now, she said, but later, perhaps. we’ll see how it goes. some customers showed more interest. the old lady left. she didn’t come back. she didn’t make pork chop. she fell on the way home. nothing that could be done. it was a beautiful funeral. most people said so. the priest said some improvements could have been made, some seemingly necessary changes in burial practices, long overdue but not yet implemented. not fully, a working group is currently reviewing the progress. said the priest, and he should know. after all he’s chairing the panel tasked with the supervision of the working group
so, no trace of the neighbour anymore. no. that’s a pity. it’s a shame.
we really can’t do anything. keep trying so.
i think it was a story, said sponge.

funny dialogues between two or more people

look, it is like this, he said, we have to talk to people. go out there, do something.
funny you say that, breadroll said. he paused. always paused. he was the most difficult person to write dialogue for. must have been the drink. yes, he drank, like a sponge. sponge didn’t bother.
why, he said. we could have a meeting with the train people.  learn wregwsss or whatever they speak. train people have a sense of humour, we’ve got to be more like them, more positive, outgoing, involved. get into dialogue with the lot.
problem is, dialogue involves two people but when you catch one of them another one inevitably joins in.
there must be a way to involve more than two people in a dialogue.
it sort of only works in literature.
really? that’s just what people say, you know, a saying.

from the book of sponge and others, take two

a reading from the book of sponge and others, really:
and the blitz had striken offally and left only one toilet intact but the people in offally did neither wail or gnashed their teeth. just nibbled off their neighbours’ backs and queued to deliver the fruit of their nibble. but while the meat was still between their teeth and before it could be consumed, the anger of the lot burned against the people, and struck them with a severe plague.
you have to start queuing while you chew and digest, otherwise you won’t get a seat, the man said, blame the government for it.
he’s not the man, said sponge. we have to keep waiting.
he’s not here, said breadroll, being negative about things.
be negative, said sponge, saves you disappointments.

two wheels

it came to me, said sponge, that in addition to phones we should do something on bicycles. in fact, getting around corners on a bike, you can guess the rest.

two interlude

whenever, said breadroll, he makes the fnnnnn sound my skin goosepimples.
there is no such word, said block of wood.
so what, said breadroll, the fnnnnb sound drives me honkers instead.

a or two done

the man who had had a hat went swimming in the sea one day. on his way to the beach he found a coin. after his swim he went to town and bought a new hat but not with the coin he had found as this would not have been enough.
that seems exciting enough, herr brekst said, we should have a jar or two to mark to occasion, maybe three.
done, said sponge.

one two three

the day kick-started; speedy, sunny, utterly dynamic and with the power to innovate: the early bird teaches the worm.
a sunny morning. breadroll, sponge and block of wood had to think what to say to mark the occasion but could not come up with anything. aggregate, innovate, promulgate, said the voice on the radio in order to further the sales of a certain product.

two in one

we shall practice, as we were advised, said sponge, until our backsides come off.
ouh, said breadroll, that happened to me once. i felt quite unbalanced.
the same time:
herr brekst said, i came to speak to somebody.
two utterly unrelated events, only the form they were reported suggests a connection. only suggests.
three events, to be exact. one didn’t happen.
actually, none of this happened, all imagined. the title is incorrect.

cups, two lips

sponge took the cup to his mouth, closed his lips around the cup’s rim and halted all movement. he remained motionless for the better part of a while; that he was supposed to comment on something he said after said better part of a while and that he did not know what to say and it was rather difficult to speak with a cup at one’s mouth.
fair enough, said breadroll we’ll continue some other time.
that’s what we do, said block of wood, we’ll keep ourselves busy in the meantime.
we can always raise cups, said breadroll.
a fine observation.

© the Book of Sponge and Others.