spread your wings and learn to tick the right thing

fart. fart, what’s that but a highlighted pee or poo in waiting, not a pee perhaps. i can’t believe anyone wants to know that, said sponge.
the public, after all we are celebrities. says breadroll without meaning it nor clarifying which bit; which bit, said sponge, you know we all tire from time to time. maybe brekst doesn’t but he’s one of those arty types.
sulky silence. just tick yes, we don’t want to cause problems. after all.

beat your nose until it looks like a box

this is the day when we are all fed up with each other, said breadroll, and beat each other up and down the road.
this tradition was founded by a geezer called stephen who was a dubious character who loved beers with the word crown in the name: king’s crown, crown castle, crown & down, etc-rown. he also loved other things but he never spoke about it. once or twice perhaps but not often.

make your pick

i hardly slept a wink last night, said sponge, waking up every blink and odd split second.
that’s the way it goes, i suppose, said breadroll.
defonightly, said block of wood.
did we agree on that kind of lingo, said sponge, and what’s this said business anyway, it’s pretty obvious that we’re saying something, isn’t it, as people can hear us. very well, i believe.
they can’t, said breadroll, it all printed. if lines could natter…
— pause —.
you got a point there, said sponge. any way: mary had a little man. can i pick your brains on that?

© the Book of Sponge and Others.